Monday, October 12, 2009

Aku a.k.a. Melissa

I've just realized that I never made a proper introduction about myself. So rude of me. Heh. My name is Melissa, just call me Mel if you don't wanna call me Melissa. Not Liss. Or Lissa. Or Meliss. Or whatever. Just Mel.

Currently, I'm still studying in a public university in our tanahair tercinta. Not important for you to know where. Hehe. 

I'm short for my age. Yes, laugh all you want. I never liked it as well until I came here and then only I realized that it was actually a blessing in disguise. If I had been a lot slimmer and taller, life would be a lot more difficult here. This is also not important for you to know because it has nothing to do with my life.

As you can tell by my name and my profile picture, I'm a girl. Doesn't really need a genius to figure that out unless Melissa has suddenly become a name for boys as well. Apa aku merepek tuk? But to be honest, when I was small people could only identify that I was a girl by my name. My looks? Hoho... Kalah kemachoan Adler ngan aku. Iboh jeles!

Okay. As I was saying, I used to look very macho when I was still in primary school. Imagine going through that age being daddy's little princess T_T There were many embarrassing incidents due to this "misunderstanding". But it would have to wait until the next post la...

I don't know why I hated being a girl but I didn't hate girls. My best friends were all girls. But my playmates were the boys.  I hated the boys because I wished that I was one of them. 

Teachers couldn't understand why I didn't behave like a girl and always played with the boys. I didn't like wearing skirts and if I had to, I would wear layers of shorts underneath. The teachers would show their disapproval and some even went as far as complaining to my mother about me because my mother was also a teacher. WTF? How did I hurt them? Did I do any wrong by playing with the boys? Did I somehow hurt them because I didn't act like a girl? Did I somehow hurt them because I didn't like wearing skirts? &%$#!!!

For your information, being a tomboy does not run in my family. Nothing to do with genetic factor. It was more of an individual preferences. Some may be psychological. I'm not sure. 

When I was a kid, my grandmother did tell me that when I was still in my mother's womb, grandma had expected me to be a boy. But when I was born, my father told her, "It's another Michele (my elder sister)" meaning to say that it's another girl. 

I suspected that maybe she (grandma) had wanted a boy but I don't hate her for that because it was only because of the Chinese tradition that she hoped for a boy. But I know she loves me because she was the one who doted on me when Ma and Pa had their hands full on my 2 sisters. 

Yeah, I'm the second child in the family and only 2 years after I was born, Ah Mau came into the picture so I was never really doted on. Papa's favourite had always been Michele although he would never admit it (do I sound jealous? :p) but I could never blame him. They were pretty close when we were little. I, on the other hand, was closer with my grandma. I would follow her when she went back to our kampung and when I cried, she was the one who consoled me. I love you, grandma :)

Anyway, I'm thankful for everything I've been through because it has shaped me to become the person I am today. Just imagine if my parents had treated me like their jantung hati intan payung, would I be as independent as I am now? 

For me, as one who hates responsibility, I think I will be very dependent on them. For example, my parents are quite protective of us because according to them, we are girls so we need to be more careful than boys.  Hence, they feel that we may not be quite as ready to drive cars even though our license say "YES, you are ready." 

My eldest sister didn't like the idea but couldn't do anything about it. But when it was my turn, I wouldn't take it all in because all my life, nobody really cared that much about me so I had all the freedom I wanted. But now... suddenly you wanna tell me that I'm just a girl? Hello, I was the son you never had. 

I couldn't rebel too much so I had to seek a chance when they would have to let me drive. Then one fine day on a Chinese New Year, that opportunity came knocking at my door. Two of my friends didn't have any transport to go home. None of their parents were able to fetch them so I told Pa that I had no choice but to send them home. Pa was more lenient and he trusted me more with things like that than Ma. So I approached him first. When he gave me the green light, Ma came in.

Ma: What? Why are you letting her drive?
Pa: *was combing his hair that time, getting ready for work I think* Haih... no choice what. Besides, her friends are with her. I'm sure, they'll be wise enough to drive safely.
Ma: Hmph... I don't know. Later if anything happens...

Funny why Ma always thought that we'll get into accidents as long as any of us are behind the wheels. Thankfully, she no longer thinks like that now. Without wasting more time, I grabbed the car keys and drove away to freedom... At least, I got their permission and blessing even though Ma gave it grudgingly. Cos I always believe that when you do something, you must get the blessings of your parents or else it will not be successful/ accomplished well. I think it's mentioned somewhere in the Bible, besides praying before you do anything.

I think I've said enough for now. There are more stories that I want to share with you when the time comes. But for now, this is quite enough. So basically, you can see that I'm not as feminine as I would love to be but I love myself. At least I'm not as rough as I used to be now. I'm also stubborn (Ma said I've always been this way even before I was born. The paediatrician had to split open my mum's tummy just to get me out after I was 10 days overdue :p). Also, people say that I'm rebellious but I don't really agree. I may rebel at times but it's with a cause. Not mintak puji. Hehe.

Okla. If I don't stop now, I never will. Jya, mata.

Now playing: GMB - Ku Percaya


Mad Maureen said...

Ur transformation comes after u got 5A.. Hmm, wonder what would have happened if you didn't get it? Would you grow up being my abang instead? Hmmm... *wondering mode*

mcjayn said...

I'll grow up wanting to become ur abang but instead ppl will mistaken u for my abg instead.
abg yg mauk jadi pompuan.

gula batu said...

ku pun tomboy p sampe jah 6 jak!mak ku ya ska pndekkn rmbtku.ku salu berangan ngkah towel kat palak konon rmbtku pjg (ooopps!)msk skul mngah,ku jg rmbt pjg p ended up cam antu asam (bapak ku ska k term tok!)cuz rmbt ku tebal cam mop!p sjak ku slu da prob hair fall,maka mkn nipisla rmbt cam pnyapu..wlpun ku tomboy,dlok ku pngakap,men betminten,basketbol,men rondes,men tapok,ska cr kelai,buli kwn p ku sik pnah pat glaran tmboy..mmm kali ku too pretty to be called as tomboy..huahahahahahaha (sapa gk mok pj kta,mun bkn drik kta mpun - ayat dcilok dr mel chua!)

mcjayn said...

psst~ sebenarnya pake tola molah jadi rambut ya mek tiga orang (ah mau, aku, ngan kakak aku) slalu molah masa kecik. hehe. mentang-mentanglah... aku sikda rambut panjang sebenar...