Thursday, March 31, 2011

The Tale about Birds and Bees and other Animals a.k.a. Pendidikan Guni-guni

Having had "pillow talks" with my juniors made me feel like talking about sex in education.  Do you realize that sex education mostly talk about methods in preventing the effect after sex (e.g. pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases [STDs]) and not the act itself? 

In sex education, we are introduced to the use of condoms (for male and female), birth control pills, interuterine devices (IUD), etc.  These are mainly for prevention of unwanted pregnancies.  But prevention of STDs are trickier because they usually discourage skin-to-skin contact.  What is sex if not for total exposure, right? LOL.  

On a more serious note, should sex education focus mainly on educating about safe sex instead of preventing pre-marital sex itself? Yes, I know what they say about joining the party if you can't beat them.  But this is a serious matter.  I hope I'm not going to sound like a priest or nun preaching about how bad fornication is. 

But think about it, is pre-marital sex (no matter how "safe" it is) responsible? 
If yes, then tell me, would you let your daughters or sons do it? Be honest.  
Or should I just say daughter because generally, people think men are not affected by intercourse (they don't get pregnant, what).  

This is how people (especially Asians) think: 

Got the pic here.

This is one of the reasons why fornication becomes a lifestyle nowadays.  People think boys have nothing to lose for having sex before marriage and that they can get away with it.  This idea has been planted into the mind of children since young.  By whom if not our own parents? Who can blame them when that is exactly how the society thinks?

"Be careful when you go out with boys.  You are a girl.  Don't let them take advantage of you," says a mother to her daughter who is on her way to hang out with some guy friends from school.  

"Don't stay out too late ya." 
"But why did you allow big bro to stay out as long as he likes?" 
"He's a boy and you're a girl.  People can easily take advantage of you." 

Sounds familiar? 
You see, both conversations show that girls are powerless while boys are invincible.  Something is wrong with that picture.  Boys are not superior to girls and vice versa.  Both will be affected.  The only difference is when. 

What parents should instill in their children is a sense of responsibility.  Dare to own up to their own actions.  Before you jump your partner's bones, ask yourself these questions: 
'If she/I get pregnant, will I be willing to raise the child?'  
'Suppose we have a baby, would I want to marry this guy/girl and face him/her for the rest of my life?'
'Am I willing to risk getting STD and risk a whole life of stigma for just a moment's pleasure?' 
If your answer is NO, put your clothes back on immediately!  

People should realize the risk of fornication.  It is like driving a car without a license.  You know that you run the risk of getting caught but you thought, 'Ah, what the heck' and when you do, you realize that there is no turning back.  There is a price to pay.  Driving "safely" does not make it legal either.  Accidents can happen and they do happen.  Suppose if it does, who is to be blamed? 
The driver? But of course.  
The parents who hand the child the keys? You bet.  

 Grabbed the pic here

Somehow, the guilty party always pays the price.  If the child is a minor, parents always end up paying for their child's "mistake".  If underage children are to get married, parents pay the dowries and expenses.  The children, on the other hand, get tied down with a lifetime of responsibility and worries.  That is the price for "growing up" too fast.  Unless you are opting for a shotgun marriage, forget about it.  Even if you are, would you want a marriage that is a result of getting pregnant? Sure, it would make a nice story to tell your grandchildren someday.  

It's starting to sound like a sermon.  But really.  

What I'm saying is that girls should not be so naive as to believe all the romantic poems or talks that guys recite just to bed you.  
Love means willing to take the responsibility of protecting the honour of your partner.  
Love means willing to sacrifice your own lust for the safety (from STD and condemnation by others) of your partner.
Love means respecting your partner and not make them feel guilty with talks like 'If you love me, you will make love to me.'  Bullshit.  Well, if your partner really loves you, what is another five to ten years of waiting?  True love waits, no?

And guys too shouldn't be so gullible as to believe that they can get away with anything.  You don't, okay? Don't forget how Chua Soi Lek got so famous.  


To sum it all, sex education is necessary, especially what kind of effects they cause, not just physically but emotionally.  Who they affect and what responsible sex really is (and I do not mean remembering to put on your condoms), instead of focusing on how they do it (just kidding!). 

Grabbed it from here

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